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PricklyPublius's avatar

This is so timely for me right now. Not just this post, but your entire Substack and its theme. I thank God for all your posts. Did St. Joseph send you, I wonder sometimes? Peace be with you.

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

Thank you for this encouragement. I mean it. I feel like I’m on the outskirts, sending messages into the ether sometimes. You really lifted me up with this and gave me something to keep fighting for. Bless you for that.

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PricklyPublius's avatar

On the contrary. Thank you! Your writing is a call to strength and is uplifting. Particularly for me right now.

I am facing divorce after 14 years. My wife told me she started contemplating divorce during a psychiatric session, about a decade ago. Wish she had told me too. We both suffer from depression, so we've been hard to live with. But I am Catholic and she's not. So she sees no value in persevering.

I wish she had trusted me enough to discuss her concerns. But she feared my temper and she simply got tired of "trying" she says. My temper is my responsibility, so that's on me. Now, I can only look forwards and see what God wants me to do next as a celibate, divorced, middle-age man.

A couple of years ago I started offering all of myself to God at every mass, for all the intentions of his Sacred Heart and my own. I mean it every time I say it and I knew that sooner or later the Lord would "collect". So I'm ready. Saddened, a little shaken, a little angry. But ready to do His will as a father to a daughter who goes to mass with me every Sunday. And wherever else on his fields the Lord wants me to work. Glad I have your words to inspire me along.👍

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

You’re going through something brutal.

And yet you’ve found accountability, humility, and an apostolic willingness that gives the kind of witness us men need. You’re still dealing with the pains but you’re offering them up.

Thank you for your witness, truly.

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KMB's avatar

As a woman and wife, I am so thankful for Godly men, my husband included, and absolutely love this article. Excellent!

“Come, Holy Ghost, come. Fill this earthly temple.”-George Beverly Shea, Welcome, Welcome Song

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

Thank you for your support and I’m pleased you found this valuable. We need our wives to back us up! Thank you for standing by us.

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Luke Consbruck's avatar

This is awesome. I feel like a soldier listening to his general before battle. It’s my language, it gets me fired up. Even more, it’s practical.

My vocation is my spiritual life. I needed to hear that. I don’t need to feel bad that I cannot pray like a monk. “Pray without ceasing becomes pray within parenting.”

Thank you for making me see that even though the battle may rage around me, I don’t have to escape it to reach God. I just have to embrace it and bring him to me. My vocation is not an interruption, but the way!

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

Thank you for that, Luke. I want everything I write to be actionable. There’s so much spiritual advice and none of it actually applicable to us or sustainable.

I’m glad this piece could give you a different viewpoint of your vocation. You have the right attitude, staying in the battle to reach God.

Brother, THAT is apostolic.

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puddleglum's avatar

This is so helpful.. Specifically seeing the vocation as where sanctification is happening, that changes everything. offering that to Christ. The kids are not a barrier but the way. Its really easy to forget, thank you for this, turned it back into worship for me this week.

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

I’m glad this reminded you. Our kids are conduits to sanctification. You’re doing it right. Keep going.

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Paul Bauer's avatar

Yes, brother, I agree with all the posts above. What you communicate here is so totally encouraging! To recognize each other in the sacrifices, in the fatigue, in the bravery, in the determination… awesome! Thank you, Emmanuel!

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

It’s a difficult, painful road but there’s so much grace on the way to truly becoming an apostle. I’m glad I could meet you in the trenches and lift your spirits, brother.

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Toxic Male's avatar

Fantastic article. You hit a nerve here. Trying to be an amazing father, spiritual master, exceptional husband and the goto guy at work is utterly exhausting. Add guilt to that toxic brew and you have a recipe for disaster. It’s for freedom that Christ set us free! Thank you!

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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

You nailed it. We juggle all this and it only ends in one place that has nothing to do with Christ. I’m glad this resonated with you. The work is not easy…but I’m hopeful when I see other guys like you bearing good witness.

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noahzarc1's avatar

Yes, this right here: “Digital Monasticism: The fantasy that watching trad content equals transformation.” - Thank you.

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Joseph D. Petitjean's avatar

Great read, thank you! Early morning prayer, fraternity, and the Rosary are essential for me though. Keep it up!

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Jun 6
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Emmanuel Smith's avatar

Erik, thank you brother. Seriously.

Writing this was exhausting, and by the time I hit publish, I was convinced it was useless.

I feel the same way you do, surrounded and under-resourced. This post was my attempt to write against bitterness and give some tools to stay in the fight.

It means more than I can write that it reached you. Even for a few minutes, you felt understood in the spiritual war and equipped. That’s everything.

I’m motivated to keep working today. You’ve given me a gift. I won’t waste it.

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