The 5 Training Phases of Catholic Fatherhood
Start Here
You’re in training now. Get ready for desert heat.
⸻
You took the Desert Father Readiness Crucible.
Here are the 5 Phases. Find yours and start training to build your Rule.
Train with fire. Forget your feelings.
Act. Don’t overanalyze. Your family is counting on you.
PHASE 1: REBUILD
Repentance and Identity Recovery
Score: 1.0–1.5
Mission: Lay the Foundation
“You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in You.”
—St. Augustine of Hippo
This is the phase for men who are returning to the faith after a lapse or might be a recent convert.
You’re fractured. Your doctrine is scattered, your discipline is nonexistent, your household disordered, and you don’t have a clue where to start. You were likely told to pray on it if you sought any spiritual counsel. Its not incorrect, but it’s only half the truth. You need prayer and EXTREME ACTION.
This is your Gen-pop training phase. You just need to show up 4-5 times per week and do whats on the board.
Training Approach:
Burn your vices to ash.
Hammer the Creed into memory.
Forge a Rosary-battle rhythm.
No opinions. Only obedience.
PHASE 2: FORTIFY
Spiritual Warfare and Fasting
Score: 1.6–2.5
Mission: Train for Battle
“A man who knows himself is greater than one who raises the dead.”
—St. Moses the Black
You’re “just a Cradle or Cultural Catholic.” You have the knowhow and the willingness, but you need a tighter, more specific training approach and some progression to hammer old, sinful habits.
Lust still festers here, discipline flickers, and your flesh still commands you. It roars at the idea of getting up at 5am before your family to read Psalms, pray the Angelus and get your monastery going.
This is where the real war begins. This is where you learn to fight or you slide back into the bloat and the weakness.
Training Approach:
Fast weekly without excuse.
Train daily without variance.
Track purity, sleep, and silence without compromise or complaint.
Guard your eyes. Guard your gates. Burn your fallback plans.
PHASE 3: COMMAND
Humble Authority Forged Through Battle Scars
Score: 2.6–3.5
Mission: Lead with Conviction
“You cannot have God for your Father if you do not have the Church for your mother.”
—St. Cyprian of Carthage
This is the most common phase for a Catholic husband and father. You have a rhythm, you’re going to mass, praying daily, and you are bleeding into your vocation daily BUT your leadership and your voice aren’t “quite there” yet.
You’re still outsourcing decisions. Responding in a reactionary fashion with your family, and governing softly or passively.
No lie, THIS is really the make or break phase. This is the phase where the failures of the Church and the multiple masculine crises we manage REALLY come to the front.
You must understand: Command is not domination. Command is cruciform. it is modeled after Christ. Not the macho influencer with 8 kids cherry-picking Scripture to tell you your wife owes you sex.
Training Approach:
Hold family councils weekly.
Institute daily household order.
Hold yourself extremely accountable with Daily Examen and Daily Mass when possible.
Preach through your battle scars, not your words or your wounds.
PHASE 4: MAGNIFY
Silent Obedience Over Spotlight Leadership
Score: 3.6–4.5
Mission: Steward Beauty and Grace
“Nothing is far from God. My child belongs to Him.”
—St. Monica
This is the phase that gets “fun.” I mean that.
You’ve built the walls of your monastery and now? You consecrate them.
You start to curate here and prune the noise. You magnify the beauty of Gods creation, as it’s all around you. This is the phase where you’ve developed such a strong Rule at home and put on such serious spiritual and physical muscle that you now see WHY you suffer. You suffer to appreciate what God bestows upon you. To enjoy a meal, the succulent charring of a perfect burger with the full, bold body of a Grenache, all with your wife and children.
You suffer to amplify what is good and beautiful, not suffering for sufferings sake. The Desert Fathers knew this and this is what all “modern Ascetics” get wrong.
You lead without a spotlight. You are radiating obedience and your ordered home reflects this.
Training Approach:
Celebrate feasts with unshakable reverence.
Forge sacred visuals into the daily fabric.
Eradicate all excessive digital noise from your dominion.
Be unseen but unforgettable.
PHASE 5: ESTABLISH
Martyrdom as Legacy Stewardship
Score: 4.6–5.0
Mission: Secure Marian Sovereignty
“Stand fast in the faith and love one another. Do not let our suffering be a cause for shame.”
This is the final phase where you’re thinking about eternity.
How do you solidify your monastery, ensure it bears spiritual and financial fruit, and steward your family after you die?
Does your governance continue? Is there a plan for succession? Can you ensure the faith remains at the center?
Training Approach:
Forge your Household Rule into permanent governance.
Train your son to surpass you.
Tithe time, wealth, and prayer into generations unborn.
⸻
Built in the Desert. Covered by Mary. Forged in Fire.
☩ Sans Peur
– Emmanuel